How do you boil your frogs?

Do you know how to boil a frog (not that any of us would really want to do this)?

If you just drop a frog into boiling water...it will jump out immediately.  The only way to boil a frog is to put it in a pot of tepid water and slowly increase the temperature. The frog doesn't realize the water is getting hotter and poses a danger.  As the water gets hotter, the frog loses consciousness and then... it's too late; croak.

Consider how we humans "boil frogs" on a daily basis.  Here are two examples...If a terrorist jumped out from behind the gas pump every time we filled the tank in our car and said, "thank you," collectively we would probably start pressuring our leaders for alternative fuel solutions.  If smokers lungs were on the outside of their bodies, clearly seeing the impact of 800 degree heat from each drag of a cigarette, they would probably quit instantly (or maybe not smoke with children close by.)   Because people do not feel an "intolerable" amount of pain or discomfort, behavior tends not to change until it's too late...we are left with the deadly, cyclical pursuit of black gold from countries that want us dead so we can fill our cars; or lung cancer, and its 600,000 deaths a year from SECOND hand smoke.  The reality is that we suffer this phenomenon every day, and in many ways..."No pain, no change."

How is the frog's experience related to us as leaders and conflict managers?  Because people do not like to address difficult subjects by choice, most often, we are not proactive when it comes to preventing and managing conflict; many individuals get "vested" in a solution only when the situation gets out of hand - usually that is too late and the conflict has morphed into other issues, often with more people involved, adding to the moving parts, perspectives and feelings.  Leaders must develop a process for addressing conflict, gain buy-in from the team, and follow through according to the conflict management procedures the team created before "playing the game." Waiting to address conflict only "boils the frog" for individuals and teams...if we are boiling frogs, we are not on a path towards creating and sustaining a high performance team, enhanced productivity, heightened collaboration and mission success.

Leaders can take several actions to avoid "boiling the frog," such as:  establishing a conflict contract/charter; establishing processes and resources that everyone has access to; gaining "buy-in" from all team members about how future conflicts will be addressed; training on how to prepare for difficult conversations and collaborate at a higher level; continuous support for a this "new" way of addressing difficult issues; holding people accountable when they "boil the frog" rather than constructively address the conflict based upon the training and processes everyone agreed to follow...conflict is not a dirty word.  We do not need to boil frogs (wait to feel the ultimate pain) if we decide to proactively address the conflict we KNOW will happen, on a daily basis.

For some, the analogy is a little "descriptive" ...but is waiting around to address conflict in its later stages when we can predict the consequences is no less easy to watch or participate in. Let's develop and follow a plan and keep the animals out of the kitchen.

Have a great month!!

Best Regards,
Dave
 

Dave Gerber's One of a Kind

"Synergy" Sand Film...

"Viewing the sand film was a unique and innovative way to key into the theme of Dave Gerber's presentation to our annual state league staff workshop. It brought home the point that anything worth creating -- and worth creating well -- has to be done at the right pace and with a team of people who can work well together. Our meeting attendees very much enjoyed the film and the way it so beautifully connected to the theme of Dave's talk."

 -- Scott A. Morris, Manager, State League  Programs National League of Cities

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Dave Gerber, President

Synergy Development & Training, LLC

www.synergydt.com

www.DaveGerber.info  

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